WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIII

Tonight, Hollywood Hogan makes his first title defense against Ric Flair.  The show starts with footage of the end of Nitro, which had Nick Patrick apparently save Scott Hall from a Stinger Splash, and the Horsemen coming out to save Sting.

That Motherfucker Dean Malenko vs Rey Mysterio Jr WCW Cruiserweight Championship

TMF attacks before the bell.  He wants that title back.  Rey baits Dean to the floor so he can hit a baseball slide spinning head scissors.  What a wacky ass arm drag.  619 feint.  TMF is frustrated as shit.  Reverse powerbomb hot shot from TMF.  Mean intentions on that one.  Jumping brainbustaaaaa.  This is much more of a sprint than their other matches have been.  Of course as I type that out, Dean slows it down with a grounded chin lock.  Dean still has Rey on the mat as we come back from the break.  Whole bunch of reversals.  Flapjack Norton.  Huge tope from Rey.  Rey does a rebound moonsault off the guard rail.  He's getting wacky in this.  Missile dropkick.  The craziest of all crazy That Mother Fucking Gut Buster.  The ref counts to 3, but Rey's foot was on the rope.  The match is restarted and Rey jumps into a victory roll to retain his title.  Rey took shit to a different level in this.

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This fucking Glacier bullshit needs to end.  It's been the same promo for 2 months of Sub-Zero kicking around an ice palace.


VK Wallstreet vs Jim DOOGUN

Gross.  I expect IRS to sweat a a bunch and Duggan to either cheat to win or tape his fist up and deck IRS after the match.  Duggan TRIES to cheat, and as he's wrapping his hand, he wraps up the ref's arm as well and they all fall, with IRS rolling him up for the win.

TO THE NASTY GENE.  Sags is sick of getting asked about the nWo shit.  They're they Nasty Boys and they love to fight.  They're pissed about not being in the triple threat tonight.  I'm not.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  After a break, we're with Gene again.  He and Tenay were going to talk about something when they were interrupted by The Outsiders.  During the break.  So this was just a plug for the hotline instead.

Ultimate Dragon vs Konnan

Fuck.  Why you gotta drag Ultimo down?  Why you gotta put Konnan and Duggan back to back?  Tenay is no longer playing along with the "Ultimate" shit.  It makes no sense to me that Konnan has been wearing less clothing the softer and flabbier he gets.  Sonny got in some pretty stiff kicks for a tiny little man.  Ultimo does a German suplex and rolls through to pin.  Konnan rolls through that and holds the tights for the quick pin.  

Ice Train is hanging out on the chat rooms when Scott Norton attacks him OUTTA NOWHERE.

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Randy Savage vs Meng

Macho never comes out.  Gene is sent to the ring and informs Nick Patrick that Macho is not here due to injury sustained by Hulk Hogan's chair shot on Nitro.  Meng wins via forfeit.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  He's now in the ring with the Dungeon of Doom.  Sullivan shits all over Hulk and how he's been saying Hulk was a piece of shit since Hulk came in.  Gene buries Hulk's acting abilities.  During this, The Leprechaun runs around and acts crazy.

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Bull Nakano vs Madusa

Very short.  Madusa wins with a roll up after Sonny accidentally kicked Bull.  "Come on, Madusa.  Kick her in her fat ass!"-Drunk lady in the crowd.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Gene is with Flair and the broads.  13 time WCW Champion vs 1 time nWo Champion.  The Horsemen are going to keep the nWo at bay.  The Horsemen were the original bad guys, mother fucker.

DDP vs Eddie Guerrero

DDP finally has black tights and you can't see his dick any more.  Now, if he'd only stop with the 80s heel shit.  Eddie goes hard shoulder first into the ring post.  Gut wrench gut buster.  Tiltawhirl slam.  Eddie LATINO HEATS UP.  DDP goes for a superplex.  Eddie knocks him off the ropes and hits the frog slpash for the win.  He's now the Lord of the Ring.  DDP offers a handshake right into a a Kanyon Cutter.  BANG!  OUTTA NOWHERE!  Another one.  BANG!  Chavo runs in and isn't able to stop an avalanche Kanyon Cutter.  BANG!  

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TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE.  Hulk dragged Gene out to the ramp, pissed about Gene burying Thunder in Paradise and his acting abilities.  Ric Flair couldn't even lace Hulk's boots up.  


GLACIER YOU CUNT

Chris Benoit vs The Giant

Woman holds onto Benoit's vest.  Giant hits him with a dropkick and hits the most ridiculous chokeslam for the instant win.

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Harlem Heat vs Steiner Brothers vs Sting/Lex Luger WCW Tag Team Championships

Sherri and Parker are arguing at ringside.  Book and Scott start again.  Scott willingly tags Lex in for a showdown with Stevie.  Of COURSE you'd put the two worst dudes in the match against each other.  This one breaks down a lot earlier with the faces getting into it with each other.  Stevie tries to kick Rick's nose off. Sting hits a crazy hot shot on Scott.  This match makes me think how weird it was that LOD came in, were a big deal, got their money, and ran away with no fanfare of any kind.  Seemed like they were just about to get the titles and then bailed.  Big German on Lex.  Not a German suplex.  There was a big German on top of Lex.  Lex catches Scott off the second rope and turns it into an inverted torture rack.  Scott and Book are left in the ring as the other 4 men fight on the floor.  Scott hits the Frankensteiner.  Before counting to 3, he calls a DQ due to an attack from The Outsiders on the floor.  Scott pretty clearly says BULLSHIT multiple times right on camera.

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TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene asks Nick about the call.  Gene and the announcers and Scott thinks it is bullshit to call for a DQ when The Outsiders never got in the ring.  Which is bullshit, because interference on the floor is still outside interference and should be a disqualification.  What makes a great ref is being able to see two things at the same time.  "WCW all the way, Gene."  

Ric Flair vs Hollywood Hogan WCW Championship

There have been 200 Flair/Hogan matches in the past 2 years, but this is the first one where Hulk was (officially) heel and Flair was the face.  Well, Flair is technically still a heel, I guess.  And even when he's a face, he wrestles like a heel, but so did Hulk.  SO I guess I was wrong about everything and this is the same thing as all of their other matches.  Except Hulk is willing to give Flair a bit more.  In 3 minutes, Hulk had more trouble with Flair than the entire match with Giant.  Which is ridiculous, but Hulk gonna Hulk.  There are definitely some miscommunications in this.  Partly coming from both guys working different roles and partly due to Hulk's timing still being off from a 6 month lay off.  Hulk HOLLYWOODS UP!  3 punches!  Big boot!  LEG DROP MISSES!  Flair locks on the figure four.  Hulk yanks Randy Anderson down.  The Outsiders hit the ring and attack Flair.  The Horsemen, Sting, and Luger hit the ring.  The nWo bails.  Ric Flair wins via disqualification, but the title remains with Hogan.0p         

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The concept for COTC had already been made redundant by the increase of PPVs, then doubly so after the advent of Nitro.  Then triply so after Nitro went to 2 hours.  And this particularly one makes even less sense since it is coming off a PPV the weekend before, with 3 PPVs in a row before it, and another one in September.   The whole point of COTC was to have a big show to A. Take viewers away from WWF shows/PPVs and B. Have a big show on non-PPV months.  Well, this is sandwiched in between 8 consecutive PPVs and Nitro is a 2 hour show with these same kinds of matches every week.  What it ended up being was a typical Nitro, but with triple the commercials.  Holy shit was that brutal.  I didn't do a counter, but I should have.  I'm pretty confident there was a break almost every 4 minutes through out the entire show. 

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