WCW Clash Of The Champions XXXV 8/21/97

The final Clash. It's kind of weird that they kept it going as long as they did after the Nitro era and having monthly PPVs. 


Jeff Jarrett vs Steve McMichael WCW US Championship

This has to be the blow off match for this feud. RIGHT? RIGHT?!?! PLEASE!!! This has to end. I can't take any more of it. Oh my god, it's a commercial break match, too. Eddie shows up and accidentally hits Jeff with the belt. Mongo pins Jeff. New champion! THIS IS THE END, RIGHT?!?!!?!?


TO THE MEAN GENE. Alex Wright comes out to speak German. Gene makes some more xenophobic comments, actually threatening to cut the interview of Alex didn't speak English. 

TO DINNER & A MOVIE. Gene is with Paul Gilmartin and Chef Claude Man. Tomorrow night, The Jerk will be shown on TBS. They're going to be making BIG JERKED CHICKEN for the movie. 


Stevie Richards vs Raven

Raven's WCW debut. Well, as Raven, at least. Stevie's "main" show debut. Weirdly, Raven is said to have no music by Tony, but WWE dubbed in a theme for him. And Raven still isn't officially signed to WCW. Raven only agrees to do the match if it is no DQ. Tony puts over the idea of Raven having multiple foot surgeries, leading to his right foot being shorter than the left, which manifests in his boot being "built up" and presumably loaded on that side. Weird seeing Raven doing Cactus elbows to Stevie on WCW TV. This is essentially a 1994 Raw squash. Raven wins with the Evenflow quite handily. 

 
 

Ultimo Dragon vs Alex Wright WCW TV Championship

Before the match, there is a video covering Ultimo's career, and him explaining that WCW has fucked up his name in America, and his name is actually Ultimo Dragon, the last student of Bruce Lee. Now, Ultimo was 7 when Bruce Lee died. Am I to believe that Bruce Lee's last student was a second grader? This was just an excuse to finally start calling him Ultimo instead of Ultimate, so whatever. You know, Alex's double fist salute thing is weirdly Naziish. Idk how I never noticed. Maybe just stick to the dancing. Ultimo is the same size or slightly shorter than referee Mark Curtis. Yet, he's able to physical overpower the SIGNIFICANTLY bigger Alex Wright multiple times. Alex starts working the lower back of Ultimo. Lol at Ultimo doing a Tiger feint when Alex isn't even looking at him. These two do not have the best chemistry. Alex hits a German suplex OUTTA NOWHERE. New champion! 

 
 

Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Jericho WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Brain CONTINUES to cut promos on Reggie Miller. Lol. Tony says that Eddie has had the biggest attitude change of anyone in years. Are we forgetting Hulk Hogan turning heel and joining the nWo? Or Sting dressing in black and becoming a mute who hangs out in the rafters?  A lot of stoogy stalling from Eddie when Jericho gets any flurries of offense. You got powerbombs and super ranas and giant swings, but no heat or flow. Jericho COMPLETELY botches the triangle crossbody to the floor, somehow not clearing the top rope when jumping from the middle rope, hitting the apron before splattering on the floor. Lol. This apparently fucks up the rest of the match, because everything after this is just a mess of scrambling to recover. Jericho wins with a roll up in a rapid fire roll up sequence. Title retained. Eddie beat Jericho up after the match.

 
 

The hype video for War Games is great, because the match going on appears to be PE/Scotty Riggs/Hardbody Harrison vs High Voltage/Steve Regal/Wrath. Which is hilarious on its own, but the cage also clearly doesn't have the roof on, plus PE beat up Harrison multiple times in it, despite him having to be on their team based on the other guys.


Psychosis/Villano IV/Villano V/Silver King vs Super Calo/Juventud Guerrera/Lizmark JR./Hector Garza

LUCHA FUCKERY IS AFOOT. Someone will probably die in this. Here are the gifs: Rudos win. Interestingly, there really weren't any botches. At least nothing big enough to mention. Crazy considering the people in this match and the match type in general.

 
 

TO THE DINNER & A MOVIE. We're still cookin'. All the foods are named after Randy Savage and the nWo. HOLY SHIT. DINNER AND A MOVIE HAVE JOINED THE NWO! LMAO. PAUL GILMARTIN HAS JUST TURNED HEEL ON WCW! MY GOD! Macho then comes out while Chef Claude and Paul throw food at Gene. You see, Macho had them cater the nWo's birthday party. After Macho leaves, DDP comes out, wrecks the kitchen, and hits Paul with a Kanyon Cutter. BANG! Incredible segment. #synergy

 
 

Syxx/Konnan vs Ric Flair/Curt Hennig

How did Konnan get involved in this shit? You could put literally anyone else in the nWo into this match and it'd be better. Even Virgil. Scrape Paul Gilmartin off the floor and put him in the match. Chef Claude is free. Get him in there. Flair would bump for him. Syxx dominates the opening exchange with Flair. Then the chops start. Fucking dying at Konnan's version of the "missed a dropkick and took a bump" spot, which is more like a "I slipped on a banana peel" spot since he never jumps for it. He just takes a training school bump. Shit is hilariously awful every time. As Flair was about to put Konnan in the figure four, Perfect threw Syxx, who went rolling right into Ric's leg. Perfect Plex on Konnan gets the win. Weirdly, Flair doesn't sell the knee at all after the match.

 
 

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Gene demands Perfect to finally give a straight answer on being a Horseman. He says no. "No you're not going to tell us, or no you're not a Horseman?" "That's right." Perfect leaves. Come on. This shit. How long can they drag this out?  


Scott Hall/Randy Savage vs DDP/Lex Luger WCW Tag Team Championships

Now, Nash is allowing Macho to defend the titles with Hall to celebrate the nWo's birthday. Which was 2 months ago. Kevin Nash remains at ringside as the rest of the group heads to the back. A bunch of balloons dropped before the match, so it sounds like a bunch of rednecks shooting off their guns for the first few minutes. Lex starts with Hall and is quickly blasted on the floor by Nash. Nash is then ejected. I don't know why he was allowed out there to begin with. DDP works most of the match as FIP. Lex gets the hot tag and has Hall in the rack. Macho pokes DDP in the eye, then Lex is bumped into DDP in the corner. DDP backs up and grabs whoever was behind him to hit the Kanyon Cutter. Which happened to be Lex. Hall pins Lex. Titles retained. I get what they were going for, but it didn't come off well.

 
 

The nWo comes out to celebrate its birthday. Minus Hogan, who is filming a movie in Montreal. As Bischoff makes demands to Ted Turner, the audio feed is taken over by a low hum. The lights begin to flicker. In the rafters is STING. With a VULTURE. When the lights come back, another bird is in the ring.

When a man's heart is full of deceit, it burns up, dies, and a dark shadow falls over his soul.
From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse.
A wrong that must be righted.
We look to the skies for a vindicator.
Someone to strike fear into the black hearts of the same men who created him.
The battle between good and evil has begun.
Against an army of shadows comes a dark warrior.
The purveyor of good with the voice of silence and a mission of justice.
THIS IS STING. 


Dinnner & A Movie swerve is the greatest swerve in the history of COTC. 

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WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIV

Dean Malenko vs Ultimo Dragon WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Dusty! He's hyped for this match. Even exchange on the mat. A break already? Fucking TBS. There must have been some kind of knee injury to TMF during the break. Dean hits a brainbuster and a grounded headscissors is applied. Dragon easily escapes and hits hits kick combo. Soccer kick. Loved playing as Ultimo in Revenge, even though his model was about 40 pounds overweight for some reason. Things get heated and Dean hits a back drop. TMF works over the knee and ankle of Dragon. WCW was so cool with always mentioning things going on in other countries. I get WWE making it seem like they're the only promotion in the world, but WCW mentioning international promotions and talent made it seem like it was at the top of the heap worldwide and got the best from everywhere. The "world" part wasn't just for show in WCW. Dragon gets on offense and immediately does spin kicks and jumps to the top rope. Dean catches him with a superplex as Dusty talks about Chi-Chi birds. Dragon ain't selling shit. Gets his leg worked on the whole matches, misses a dive to the floor, lands on his feet, keeps going like nothing happened. Asai moonsault. Another moonsault in the ring for two. Dragon's selling is garbage here. What's the point of doing all that leg work if Dragon is going to completely disregard it and do all of his flying and running stuff anyway? Dean drills Sonny and wins with the Texas Cloverleaf. New champion! Pretty pointless reign for Ultimo. I'm quite sure he only won it at Starrcade for the promo pictures of the Cruiserweight Championship with the rest of the J-Crown...which he lost a week later at the NJPW dome show, and then he loses the cruiser belt a few weeks later. I think he had one title defense on WCW TV before losing it.


Scotty Riggs vs Mike Enos

Mean Mike is back to being Mean Mike. No longer the Mauler. Back in his Rough and Ready gear. Riggs has a PPV this Saturday. He got a jobber entrance. Zero heat for him or Enos. Riggs wins with the Flying Burrito OUTTA NOWHERE in a very short match.


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. No Ric Flair? Who really wants Benoit and Mongo (and Debra) cutting promos? There was apparently a meeting today, and the Horsemen are back on the same page. "I've got a very fragile mind, Sullivan." Well, you don't say, Chris. 


Konnan/JL/La Parka vs Chris Jericho/Super Calo/Chavo Guerrero Jr

Jericho is replacing Juvi, who was injured against Psychosis in Mexico. I'll just leave you with the gifs. Technicos win in what was the train wreck you'd hope and expect for. La Parka in particular seemed to have a death wish in this.


Harlem Heat vs Joe Gomez/Renegade

Dusty talks about Sherri's tits. I wish someone would mention that Gomez looks like Mongo's Native American cousin. Heat win with the Heat Seeker in a short and easy match. 


TO THE TONY THE TIGER. What a shitty job Lee has. He goes to all the cities the week before a show and has to talk to...wrestling fans, I guess. He doesn't even get to see the shows. 


Masahiro Chono vs Alex Wright

Chono attacks before the bell. Not that it would matter, since Nick Patrick is the ref. LOL, Alex gets heel heat for kicking and throwing the nWo shirt. Way to make the heel group cooler than your entire brand, WCW. Then it seems like Alex tries to get heel heat. Against an nWo member. Yakuza kick for the win.


Eddie Guerrero vs Scott Norton

This could be fun. Norton just muscles the shit out of Eddie for the opening minutes. Eddie uses his speed and attacks the leg of Norton to cut him down. Things not to do: Chop Scott Norton. Scott's power game is on point. And it is awesome. Doing shit like one arm sack of shit suplexes, no selling a pop up dropkick and flattening Eddie, that rad powerslam. Monster powerbomb. Eddie is paying for someone's sins. DDP comes out of the crowd and hits a Kanyon Cutter on Norton after Nick Patrick got bumped. BANG! Frog splash. Eddie wins! 


TO THE GIANT. A long Giant promo, in front of a weird black screen with purple/pink lines and bad lighting. "You four legged feline. Do the math." 


Chris Benoit vs Taskmaster Falls Count Anywhere

These two beat the shit out of each other the night before. This feud has really been going on for a year now. Sullivan wants to start on the floor and Benoit obliges. Into the crowd it goes. THEY DEALIN' ON EACH OTHER. Bobby Eaton is a security guard for some reason. In fact, Bobby almost gets into a fight with some fans. They're in the restroom. LMAO Jimmy got blasted with a trash can. Pee Wee got shoved into a urinal. Benoit goes face first into a heater. Paper towel dispensers are broken. They head back to the arena and Benoit gets thrown down the steps. Jesus Christ. He went flying. "AAAAWW MAN HE ROLLED HIM DOWN THERE LIKE A BOWLIN' BALL!" Things finally head to the ring. Tree of Keanu. Woman is screeching. Double stomp. Benoit kicks out. Jimmy tries to get involved. During this, Woman blasts Sullivan with a wooden chair. Benoit wins. Benoit breaks the chair on Sullivan's dome after the match. 


Steiner Brothers vs Amazing French Canadians

Scott's return to in ring action after his severe back injury. 1993 represent. The Outsiders popped up on the screen to talk some shit to the Steiners. Pretty short match. Steiners win with the Steiner DDT. Scott's hair is a MESS. And he's wearing tassels on his boots for some reason.


Lex Luger vs Scott Hall

1993 represent some more. Hall is actually bigger than Lex and would probably look just as cut up if he shaved and oiled up. Hall is the face here. And he kind of wrestles like a face. Syxx got smashed and then Nash smashed Lex. I really think Hall's time in WCW was better than his WWF time, but mostly because he was a shitty face as Razor and was always a heel in WCW even when he was a face. Copious interference from Nash and Kid. Dusty puts Hall over huge during this whole match. This is very Hall formula. It's not bad, but Lex keeps it from being anything particularly noteworthy. Much like Hall, Lex is a natural heel and is kind of an awkward face. Lex ends up beating the shit out of Hall, Nash, and Syxx. Eventually, the numbers game becomes too much and Hall is disqualified. The Steiners hit the ring. "I FEEL A RUMBLE COMIN'!" WE'RE OUTTA TIME! WCW stands tall heading into Souled Out. Well, until Nash gets pissed and appears to start SHOOTING.


This was a pretty enjoyable Clash, something few and far between after like 1993. The whole concept was pretty obsolete once Nitro came around, but this was mostly enjoyable. Norton/Eddie was a lot of fun.

 

Announced card for nWo Souled Out:

  • Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant WCW Championship
  • Steiner Brothers vs The Outsiders WCW Tag Team Championships
  • Eddie Guerrero vs Syxx WCW US Championship Ladder Match
  • Masahiro Chono vs Chris Jericho
  • Buff Bagwell vs Scotty Riggs
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WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIII

Tonight, Hollywood Hogan makes his first title defense against Ric Flair.  The show starts with footage of the end of Nitro, which had Nick Patrick apparently save Scott Hall from a Stinger Splash, and the Horsemen coming out to save Sting.

That Motherfucker Dean Malenko vs Rey Mysterio Jr WCW Cruiserweight Championship

TMF attacks before the bell.  He wants that title back.  Rey baits Dean to the floor so he can hit a baseball slide spinning head scissors.  What a wacky ass arm drag.  619 feint.  TMF is frustrated as shit.  Reverse powerbomb hot shot from TMF.  Mean intentions on that one.  Jumping brainbustaaaaa.  This is much more of a sprint than their other matches have been.  Of course as I type that out, Dean slows it down with a grounded chin lock.  Dean still has Rey on the mat as we come back from the break.  Whole bunch of reversals.  Flapjack Norton.  Huge tope from Rey.  Rey does a rebound moonsault off the guard rail.  He's getting wacky in this.  Missile dropkick.  The craziest of all crazy That Mother Fucking Gut Buster.  The ref counts to 3, but Rey's foot was on the rope.  The match is restarted and Rey jumps into a victory roll to retain his title.  Rey took shit to a different level in this.

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This fucking Glacier bullshit needs to end.  It's been the same promo for 2 months of Sub-Zero kicking around an ice palace.


VK Wallstreet vs Jim DOOGUN

Gross.  I expect IRS to sweat a a bunch and Duggan to either cheat to win or tape his fist up and deck IRS after the match.  Duggan TRIES to cheat, and as he's wrapping his hand, he wraps up the ref's arm as well and they all fall, with IRS rolling him up for the win.

TO THE NASTY GENE.  Sags is sick of getting asked about the nWo shit.  They're they Nasty Boys and they love to fight.  They're pissed about not being in the triple threat tonight.  I'm not.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  After a break, we're with Gene again.  He and Tenay were going to talk about something when they were interrupted by The Outsiders.  During the break.  So this was just a plug for the hotline instead.

Ultimate Dragon vs Konnan

Fuck.  Why you gotta drag Ultimo down?  Why you gotta put Konnan and Duggan back to back?  Tenay is no longer playing along with the "Ultimate" shit.  It makes no sense to me that Konnan has been wearing less clothing the softer and flabbier he gets.  Sonny got in some pretty stiff kicks for a tiny little man.  Ultimo does a German suplex and rolls through to pin.  Konnan rolls through that and holds the tights for the quick pin.  

Ice Train is hanging out on the chat rooms when Scott Norton attacks him OUTTA NOWHERE.

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Randy Savage vs Meng

Macho never comes out.  Gene is sent to the ring and informs Nick Patrick that Macho is not here due to injury sustained by Hulk Hogan's chair shot on Nitro.  Meng wins via forfeit.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  He's now in the ring with the Dungeon of Doom.  Sullivan shits all over Hulk and how he's been saying Hulk was a piece of shit since Hulk came in.  Gene buries Hulk's acting abilities.  During this, The Leprechaun runs around and acts crazy.

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Bull Nakano vs Madusa

Very short.  Madusa wins with a roll up after Sonny accidentally kicked Bull.  "Come on, Madusa.  Kick her in her fat ass!"-Drunk lady in the crowd.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Gene is with Flair and the broads.  13 time WCW Champion vs 1 time nWo Champion.  The Horsemen are going to keep the nWo at bay.  The Horsemen were the original bad guys, mother fucker.

DDP vs Eddie Guerrero

DDP finally has black tights and you can't see his dick any more.  Now, if he'd only stop with the 80s heel shit.  Eddie goes hard shoulder first into the ring post.  Gut wrench gut buster.  Tiltawhirl slam.  Eddie LATINO HEATS UP.  DDP goes for a superplex.  Eddie knocks him off the ropes and hits the frog slpash for the win.  He's now the Lord of the Ring.  DDP offers a handshake right into a a Kanyon Cutter.  BANG!  OUTTA NOWHERE!  Another one.  BANG!  Chavo runs in and isn't able to stop an avalanche Kanyon Cutter.  BANG!  

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TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE.  Hulk dragged Gene out to the ramp, pissed about Gene burying Thunder in Paradise and his acting abilities.  Ric Flair couldn't even lace Hulk's boots up.  


GLACIER YOU CUNT

Chris Benoit vs The Giant

Woman holds onto Benoit's vest.  Giant hits him with a dropkick and hits the most ridiculous chokeslam for the instant win.

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Harlem Heat vs Steiner Brothers vs Sting/Lex Luger WCW Tag Team Championships

Sherri and Parker are arguing at ringside.  Book and Scott start again.  Scott willingly tags Lex in for a showdown with Stevie.  Of COURSE you'd put the two worst dudes in the match against each other.  This one breaks down a lot earlier with the faces getting into it with each other.  Stevie tries to kick Rick's nose off. Sting hits a crazy hot shot on Scott.  This match makes me think how weird it was that LOD came in, were a big deal, got their money, and ran away with no fanfare of any kind.  Seemed like they were just about to get the titles and then bailed.  Big German on Lex.  Not a German suplex.  There was a big German on top of Lex.  Lex catches Scott off the second rope and turns it into an inverted torture rack.  Scott and Book are left in the ring as the other 4 men fight on the floor.  Scott hits the Frankensteiner.  Before counting to 3, he calls a DQ due to an attack from The Outsiders on the floor.  Scott pretty clearly says BULLSHIT multiple times right on camera.

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TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene asks Nick about the call.  Gene and the announcers and Scott thinks it is bullshit to call for a DQ when The Outsiders never got in the ring.  Which is bullshit, because interference on the floor is still outside interference and should be a disqualification.  What makes a great ref is being able to see two things at the same time.  "WCW all the way, Gene."  

Ric Flair vs Hollywood Hogan WCW Championship

There have been 200 Flair/Hogan matches in the past 2 years, but this is the first one where Hulk was (officially) heel and Flair was the face.  Well, Flair is technically still a heel, I guess.  And even when he's a face, he wrestles like a heel, but so did Hulk.  SO I guess I was wrong about everything and this is the same thing as all of their other matches.  Except Hulk is willing to give Flair a bit more.  In 3 minutes, Hulk had more trouble with Flair than the entire match with Giant.  Which is ridiculous, but Hulk gonna Hulk.  There are definitely some miscommunications in this.  Partly coming from both guys working different roles and partly due to Hulk's timing still being off from a 6 month lay off.  Hulk HOLLYWOODS UP!  3 punches!  Big boot!  LEG DROP MISSES!  Flair locks on the figure four.  Hulk yanks Randy Anderson down.  The Outsiders hit the ring and attack Flair.  The Horsemen, Sting, and Luger hit the ring.  The nWo bails.  Ric Flair wins via disqualification, but the title remains with Hogan.0p         

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The concept for COTC had already been made redundant by the increase of PPVs, then doubly so after the advent of Nitro.  Then triply so after Nitro went to 2 hours.  And this particularly one makes even less sense since it is coming off a PPV the weekend before, with 3 PPVs in a row before it, and another one in September.   The whole point of COTC was to have a big show to A. Take viewers away from WWF shows/PPVs and B. Have a big show on non-PPV months.  Well, this is sandwiched in between 8 consecutive PPVs and Nitro is a 2 hour show with these same kinds of matches every week.  What it ended up being was a typical Nitro, but with triple the commercials.  Holy shit was that brutal.  I didn't do a counter, but I should have.  I'm pretty confident there was a break almost every 4 minutes through out the entire show. 

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WCW Clash of the Champions XXXII 1/23/96
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The show starts with Macho putting Hogan in his place on Nitro, followed with Lex cheating to win the titles without Sting's knowledge.  Tony and Bobby will hold down commentary duties tonight.

TO THE LITTLE WHITE CHAPEL.  Mean Gene is outside, waiting for the Parker/Sherri wedding.  "You know, this is kind of like a funeral parlor in reverse."

Public Enemy vs Nasty Boys

Fuck.  Rocco and Sags brawl on the floor.  Grunge and Knobs brawl in the ring.  Sags leaves and comes back with a table.  Just mindless brawling, of course, none of it being very interesting.  Rocco moonsaults Knobs through a table.  Ish.  It kind of broke.  Hawaiian table, maybe.  What looked much worse was when Sags chucked it on Grunge's head from the ring.  He then continued to beat Grunge with a broke part of the table all the way to the entrance.  Both teams are counted out.

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TO THE BISCHOFF.  Fuck.  I was hoping I wouldn't have to hear any Bischoff.  He brings out Giant, Flair, and Jimmy Hart.  Flair looks hung over as fuck.  The title lost didn't mean DICK to him.  Of course not.  He's lost it 12 times.  "You can't hide behind Slim Jim!"

Karate Fighters ad!  Slick 50 ad!  TOOTSIE ROLLS!  


That Motherfucker Dean Malenko vs Alex Wright  

Alex comes out with a serious face and a bit of a limp.  A lot of SMOOV mat stuff from both guys.  God this one piece of shit on hard cam who keeps jumping and waving his arms so he can be on TV.  Not at all paying attention to the match and being distracting to people around him.  He probably goes to TNA shows.  Dean goes after the knee.  Fucking ugly dragon screw.  Some awkwardness in this.  TMF goes to the top rope for some reason.  Alex catches him.  Superplex.  German suplex.  Alex does a run up back flip for no reason, especially with a bad knee.  Dean dropkicks the knee and rolls him up in a jackknife pin to get the win.

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The Taskmaster vs Disco Inferno

Elvis comes out instead. of Disco  He's here to deliver a singing telegram.  I can't even understand what the fuck he's saying.  It's okay.  He got punched in the face for it.  Disco is at the wedding so this match doesn't happen.

TO THE LITTLE WHITE CHAPEL.  Gene is still waiting on the bride and groom.  Buck and Slater arrive.  

TO THE BISCHOFF.  Sting and Lex are the guests.  THe ROAD WARRIORS arrive.  Sting and Lex aren't the most powerful force in wrestling until they can beat the Road Warriors.  Sting is down for it right now.  Lex puts the kibosh on it.  They've got a rematch with Heat, the Blue Bloods, the Nastys, even State Patrol.  On top of that, Lex doesn't want to reinjure Animal's back.  Hawk says...something.  About quotas and beatings.  He had a hard time getting it out.

TO THE WONDERFUL.  Tony had a sit down chat with Mr. Wonderful on a beach bench it appears.  It's a career ending injury.  He's old school.  Pillman is a bitch, basically.  He brings up slapping the shit out of Vader.  Horsemen got no respect.  Pillman is only a Horseman because Paul chose not to be one when asked.  You haven't seen the last of him.  Oh shit, Gary Spivey is in the crowd!

TO THE LITTLE WHITE CHAPEL.  The groom finally arrives.  He needs to borrow $50 from Gene to pay the cabbie.  He's lost all of his money in Vegas.  His cell phone rings. It's Sherri.  Gene gets very pissy with the cabbie honking his horn.

Brian Pillman vs Eddie Guerrero

Pillman falls out of the ring yelling at fans.  The hotline has Bischoff talking about the Billionaire Ted skits.  Pillman gets dumped to the floor.  He starts pawing around at Brain, who shouts WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING and throws his head set off, walking around the ring to regain his composure.  When he sits back down, he apologizes for saying anything that was off color.  You mean dropping the F-bomb on TBS?  He still likes Brian's style, though.  Pillman gets Eddie on the mat and slaps the fuck out him.  God damn.  Then steps on his face.  This is the first time that Pillman really seems out of control.  No idea what weird shit he's up to.  He doesn't even seem like he knows.  2 months of calling him the Loose Cannon and he finally starts acting like it.  Pillman wins with a crossbody and a handful of tights.  He leaves on top of the announce table, which causes Brain to leave the area once again.

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TO THE BISCHOFF.  Macho, Hogan, and Kevin Greene are the guests.  Hulk says some weird things about Liz, like which one of them was going to be the one to take her out on the town tonight.  Macho I think implied she didn't put out.  And then Hulk said she was too much for Macho, which seemed like a super dick thing to say, but Macho OOOOOOHHH YEAAAAHEED after it.  

Blue Bloods vs Sting/Lex Luger WCW Tag Team Championships

It's still unclear if Sting knows how the titles were won.  Surely someone has told him, right?  Sting and Regal begin.  Regal has the most ridiculous selling of getting his ears boxed in.  Tags are made.  Eaton gets back dropped on the floor.  Regal gets angry that his tits can't flex.  LOL Lex gets him in the corner and he starts screaming UNHAND ME UNHAND ME UNHAND ME.  All to throw a cheap shot.  He's the best at going from fun and playful to mean and spiteful.  Eaton hits the top rope knee drop.  Regal Stretch is on.  Sting breaks it.  Hot tag to Sting.  Regal nails Sting, who bounces into the ropes, the same ropes Eaton were standing on.  Eaton flies into Regal.  Scorpion deathlock on Eaton for the win.  Titles retained.

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TO THE LITTLE WHITE CHAPEL.  Still no Sherri, but Harlem Heat have arrived.  Booker is very upset about the lack of hot wings and neck bones.  The bride has arrived!  Col. Parker shows her literally his last dollar.  They start arguing.  

TO THE BISCHOFF.  Eric brings Brian Pillman back out.  Pillman asks Eric if he's nervous.  "No, I'm not nervous."  "You should be."  He talks about the SEVEN...sins.  He's going to do whatever it takes to get respect. 

Konnan vs Psychosis Mexican Heavyweight Championship

Konnan.  ....Konnan.....Fuck.  Fucking lol at fans in the front row with clear "Who the fuck is this" looks on their faces.  Tenay joins the booth to rattle off all of his nerd facts.  Zero heat.  And nothing all that impressive.  Just the most basic lucha stuff that Eddie/Dean/Benoit had been doing on TV and better.  Konnan is blown up about 3 minutes in.  Was there ever a time that Konnan didn't suck?  Psychosis submits to the CHIKARA special.  And Konnan got boos.  Wholly unimpressive match from both guys, mostly because Konnan looked fucking terrible the whole way through.  Title retained.

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TO THE LITTLE WHITE CHAPEL.  It appears Sherri is getting dressed in a limo.  Parker keeps asking for money.  Gene offers to walk Sherri down the aisle.  After the break, Gene does just that.  Gene mentions the phone call, but Sherri has no idea what he's talking about.  She sounds high as fuck.  God this is awful.  The woman, who does this all day, can't even read the most basic vows.  She can't even get the names right.  OUTTA NOWHERE, Madusa pops out of Col. Parker's trailer and starts fighting with Sherri.  Booker slips on cake.  Stevie looks to be enjoying it greatly.  Disco stole the champagne.  Lol, Book and Stevie are both cheesing huge.  This is was the first appearance Madusa had made since dropping the WWF Women's title in the trash can over a month ago.

Ric Flair/The Giant vs Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage

The Megamaniacs have Debra, Linda Hogan, Woman, Kevin Greene, two other women, and Liz.  Now, come on.  That's pretty excessive.  They can't all have manager's licenses.  Liz looks hot.  Short red dress with a lot of skin showing.  Flair spent all commercial heeling on Greene and is still doing it when they came back.  Green gets in the ring.  The ref allows it.  Flair bails.  Macho and Flair start.  Camera man gets taken out on the Flair Flip.  Tags are made.  We're talking about specific spots in Andre/Hogan right now.  The entire feud is built around Andre vs Hogan at WM3.  Hulk slams Giant.  He's slammed Giant like 4 times now.  How many times did Andre get slammed on WWF television in 10 years?  Pretty sure Giant has been slammed more on TV in 4 months than Andre was  during the entire decade of the 80 on WWF television.  As Hogan and Giant fight on the floor, Jimmy throws something to Flair.  Flair uses it and pins Macho.  Pillman and Zodiac run out.  Hulk and Greene dispose of them. 

 

 A lot of variety, but nothing impressive.  Way too much Bischoff and way way too much chapel shit.  They could have done 2 of those and got everything in.  The one thing that WCW always had over WWF was the World in the title wasn't bullshit.  On this card, they had a AAA title match, Eddie Guerrero (Mexico/Texas), Steven Regal (UK), Alex Wright (Germany), and half the guys on the show having over seas experience.  They used their biggest PPV of the year to have a joint show with NJPW.  They had (mostly) legitimate world wide tournaments in the late 80s and early 90s.  They recently had picked up Dave Taylor and Finlay would be in soon.  The whole influx of luchadores is right about to happen.  The few times WWF ever did that kind of thing, it was never acknowledged on WWF television.

StroCOTC XXXIIComment
WCW Clash Of The Champions XIX
 
 


The NWA Tag Team Championships tournament starts tonight, and Tony, Missy, and Magnum TA give us some of the run down. However, Missy breaks the news that NJPW will be having a tournament to crown a new NWA Heavyweight Champion, and runs off to get some more info on that. Bill Watts takes her spot to talk about the tradition of the NWA. HOOK 'EM UP.  All matches tonight will be first round matches in the tag tournament. 


Joe and Dean Malenko vs Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff

I'm not sure why the Malenkos are the team representing Europe. They're from Florida. This could be a hot ass match, though. Not complaining. Joe was a big fucking dude. Got all the size of that gene pool. Ricky and Joe begin and do some neat scrambling stuff. Now that I think about it, maybe the Malenko's are billed from Europe since Joe looks like he might be Karl Gotch's son, and they both like to use the German suplex. Steamboat has arm drags for days, and he is in amazing shape. Maybe the best of his entire WCW run. All of the tag matches in the tournament will be under NWA rules, which means moves off the top are legal, and being thrown over the top rope is not. Despite the large size difference between the two, Dean holds his own with Nikita. Mostly. After fairly back and forth action, Dragon ends up as the FIP. He and Joe have some awkward exchanges, but Joe does hit the Rainmaker. Jesse has turned around on Steamboat recently as Ricky said Ventura was his favorite movie star. Nikita gets the hot tag and pins Dean with the Russian Sickle. Or whatever it was called since he's no longer billed from Russia. 


Z-Man/Marcus Bagwell vs Rick Rude/Steve Austin

What a weird drop off for Tom Zenk. He already did the heartthrob babyface team 5 years ago, in the biggest  company in the world, with an established world star as his partner. Now he's in the second class promotion, trying it again with a rookie as his partner. If only he wasn't a flake, he could have made a lot of money in the WWF. Austin and Rude start by immediately beating the shit out of Buff. Lol. Rude also beats the shit out of Zenk. No competition for him. I'll never understand why Austin didn't wear knee pads. It's not like he was doing an old school gimmick or anything. I'm sure he regrets it now. This is very much "dominant heels dominate underdog faces", but no one believes the underdogs actually have a chance at all. Austin and Rude are TV and US champion, respectively, in the major stable in the company. They aren't losing. It's not even a "faces get a few hope spots and almost win" kind of match. It's a "Rick Rude says fuck your hope spots" and easily wins with the Rude Awakening on Buff to advance in the tournament.


TO THE BISCHOFF. Eric speaks with the Doc and Gordy. Terry Gordy berries Australia. He makes it clear people want to see MVC vs the Steiners. No one gives a shit about the Puerto Rican or Australian teams. Lol, Doc talks about being from Oklahoma and drops the "Steers and queers" line, but actually says "queers" first and then says he can't finish it on TV. 


Larry and Jeff O'Day vs Miracle Violence Connection

Larry and Jeff are father and son and from Australia. They're probably about to get murdered. I always liked when WCW actually brought in international talent to live up to "world" billing. Sometimes you got guys like this, but other times you'd get nifty dudes from Japan or Mexico. This was a mauling. MVC easily advance. 


TO THE BODY. Jesse speaks to WCW Champion STANG. Tux with the face paint. Sting tells a David and Goliath story about him and Vader, but when he looks around and sees all of his Stingers in the crowd, he feels like HE is Goliath. SWERVE! 


Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham vs Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton

Holy shit what a match on paper. Arn and Barry begin. Horsemen EXPLODE. I wonder if Eaton's Alabama Jam is good. I'd go to an indie show he was on just to get some. The first major spot of the match is Arn taking a hard bump from the top to the floor, bouncing ribs first off the apron on the way down. Paul E. wants that to be a DQ, but as Arn wasn't thrown OVER the top rope, it wasn't ruled as such. Dustin boots Eaton over the top rope. That probably should have been a DQ as well. This ref is clearly biased. Both Barry and Dustin end up as FIP at times, but Dustin gets it the worst. Paul E. gets a phone shot in to the ribs/kidneys. Arn is VICIOUS stomping the shit out of Goldy's head/neck. Savage. Arn hits the spinebuster on Dustin while Bobby was brawling with Barry on the floor, but the camera crew missed it. Dustin kicked out and pinned Bobby with a bulldog OUTTA NOWHERE.  


TO THE BISCHOFF. Missy is back with more info about the NWA Championship tournament. All four members of the Dangerous Alliance will be in the tournament. Doc and Gordy return to say there has been a bad wreck with the Puerto Rican team. Why, it seems like MVC vs the Steiners can happen...TONIGHT.


The Silver Kings vs Fabulous Freebirds

Well, fuck. Michael Hayes just won't stop haunting me. And he's going against lucha dudes. Good luck not being terrible. On the other hand. SILVER KING. Two of them. Of course, this match is ugly as shit, they have zero chemistry, the lucha dudes take a bunch of huge bumps, and the Freebirds get the win. Fuck Michael Hayes. He really shows why he's a Hall of Fame talent.


Tony and Magnum talking about the tournament when Ole Anderson shows up to talk about the Puerto Rican team being injured. The Steiners get a bye, and the tournament is being reordered.


Brian Pillman/Jushin Liger vs Chris Benoit/Biff Willington

Stampede represent. Just a straight up Stampede tag match. Liger and Pillman start. They're familiar with each other not just from Stampede, but frequent matches in NJPW. Beef is not the dude I would have brought in. The real money was in a Benoit/Steve DiSalvo team, in my opinion. Biff and Pillman spend a lot of time in the ring. Too much, probably. It's weird having my most recent Benoit footage be of him as a charismatic, plucky, rookie face and seeing him just a few years later has completely stoic and seemingly charismaless. He ends up taking a super backdrop driver, which certainly was not very safe. Liger wins with a moonsault in a match that wasn't much beyond some dives and Benoit's head breaking bumps.


The Headhunters vs Hiroshi Hase/Akira Nogami

The Headhunters are Bob Cook and Joe Cruze under masks (not that I could tell you who they are without the masks) and are representatives of the Dominican Republic. Team NJPW is the number 2 seed. I think it's obvious who will win this one. Akira hits a pretty dope enzuigiri early in the match. This has to be weird for this South Carolina crowd. Two Japanese dudes against two "Dominican Republic" guys, Hase being the only one they might be aware of at all. Team NJPW win with stereo German/Northern lights suplexes. JR called them both German suplxes, though.



TO THE BODY. Jesse brings Ron Simmons out to the ring. Ron Simmons plans to be the first black world champion in WCW history. Harley Race comes out with the Super Invader (Hercules) to interrupt the promo. Harley tells Ron to be an errand boy and deliver a message to Stang. "Seven different times I was world heavyweight champion, and I had a BOY like you carrying my bags!" Ron attacks Harley. Invader attacks Ron. Ron fights them both off. Don't step to Ron. This is a proper way to do a racist angle, since the racist immediately got his ass beat, and eventually his man lost the title as well.


Tony Schiavone and Bill Watts are in the ring to discuss the tournament. Even though this is a NWA tournament, it is presented by WCW, and Bill Watts is going to change shit up to make sure the fans  get their money's worth. He's going to put the Steiners and MVC together TONIGHT! Round two starts tonight! WE'RE GONNA HOOK 'EM UP!


Miracle Violence Connection vs Steiner Brothers

Bam Bam and Rick start. All you can ask for is someone getting blasted with lariats and some stiff suplexes. I've seen it before. Scott hits the first suplex. It didn't really phase Gordy much, but he still tagged out. Scott and Doc do a lot of amateur grappling, as you'd imagine. Rick hits a huge belly to belly on Doc. Almost all the way across the ring. Doc slaps the shit out of Rick, and tempers flare. Doc then lays him the fuck out with a lariat. Breh is missing his head after that. Rick is something not quite the FIP and gets a hot tag to Scott, who is smashed pretty quickly with double team gutbusters and shit. Scott actually IS  the FIP. Scott gets a second FIP segment, as a matter of fact. But are either Steiner really ever in peril? Doc hits a chopblock to the front on the outside, and then Gordy does a chopblock from behind when Scott attempted to suplex Doc in the ring. The Steiners have been eliminated!  
    


Dope show if you like tag team wrestling. A wide range of styles and types of talent, from all over the world. 

StroCOTC XIXComment
WCW Clash Of The Champions IV: Season's Beatings

Eddie Gilbert/Ron Simmons vs Fantastics NWA US Tag Team Championships

The finals of a tournament. LMAO at Ron Simmons having a test of strength with Bobby Fulton and struggling to overpower him. Ron got hit with a drink or food or something off camera after throwing Bobby around. Jason Hervey was hot about it. Until he saw he was on camera, then he got happy. Obviously things are faster paced when Eddie is in the ring, and slowed down with power spots when Ron is in. The crowd is very mixed, unsure of which team to support. You kind of get the feeling tempers are going to flare and one of these teams (probably Eddie specifically) are going to throw some cheap shots. Weirdly, Ron takes far more offense than Eddie, and the Fantastics really focus on him for a lot of the match. You'd think you'd want to keep the smaller man in the ring. Eddie's already injured arm hits the post, and it becomes the focus for the rest of the match. Eventually, he hits it on the post one too many times and gets rolled up. The Fantastics are the new champions! This went on for fucking ever. Almost a god damn half hour. Wtf.


TO THE TONY. Lex Luger is a special guest with Tony to talk about the tag match they just saw. 


Steve Williams vs The Italian Stallion

Oh great, an IRS promo before the match. More absurd than the half hour match before it, this match that clearly should be a squash went on for 15 fucking minutes. Why are Clash matches so god damn long? Dreadfully boring match. Doc finally won with a powerslam.


TO THE MAGNUM. JYD is Magnum's guest. JYD in that acid washed Canadian tux. He's come to the "N Double A" at the behest of Ivan Koloff.


 Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones

Ivan will wrestle with one arm tied behind his back. This is horrendous. The punches these guys are throwing are things that if your uncle who always told you this was fake shit were to show you the clips, you wouldn't even be able to argue back. His smoking gun, right here at Clash 4. Ivan ends up hitting Paul Jones with Paul's own international object and gets the pin. After the match, The Russian Assassins hit the ring and jump Ivan. JYD runs them off.


Tony and Lex talk about the issues between the Road Warriors and Dusty Rhodes.

TO THE MAGNUM. Due to Dusty being late, Magnum got to talk with the very "special" Rick Steiner. Who insists that the face on his hand is a real life person. "Shh shhh shhh shhh............MIKE ROTUNDA I'M GONNA BEAT YOU TO DEATH!" Lmao. LMAO. What a fucking ending.   


Animal vs Dusty Rhodes NWA Six Man Tag Team Championships

This is a weird situation. Not only are the 6 man titles on the line in a singles match, but the titles can change hands on a disqualification. LOD had tried to spike Dusty's eye out, which is still heavily bandaged coming into this. Unlike the previous absurdly long matches, this goes under 3 minutes. Dusty was about to put the figure four on Animal and for no reason at all blasts Tommy Young with an elbow. Hawk came out, followed by Sting. Dusty goes after Animal's leg with a chair as Sting and Hawk brawl on the floor. ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE! Those 3 minutes were more exciting than the previous hour and a half. 


Midnight Express vs Ric Flair/Barry Windham

I would say this is going to save the show, but then I realized that Stan Lane is probably going to be in for most of the match for some reason. Lmao, Eaton starts the match by slapping the shit out of Ric. Also lol at Barry trying to sneak in and backing off when Eaton shot a look at him. Ric actually trained Stan, I believe the only guy trained by the Nature Boy. But Stan Lane sucks. Bring back Dennis Condrey. Barry is taking all of his big bumps, and the Midnights are dominating this match. It takes like a good 7 minutes before the Horsemen get any offense. Paul E. had a PIP promo saying that the rumors said as high up as Ted Turner made sure the ORIGINAL Midnight Express weren't allowed to be at the show tonight to protect Cornette's bullshit version. Kind of curious to me that Ric, as heavyweight champ, is working most of the match. Anyway, Eaton eventually ends up as FIP. Bobby hit Barry with the guillotine leg drop. Corny and JJ fighting caused a distraction, allowing Flair to hit Eaton with a SHOE! Barry pinned Bobby. 


TO THE TONY. Jim Cornette rants and raves about the tag match and JJ in particular, and asks for a rematch. 


God, I will never understand why Clashes have such long fucking matches. Actually, it isn't even a clash thing. Saturday Night would have squashes that had commercial breaks on the reg at this time. Midnights vs Horsemen was good. Dusty/Animal was hot. The other shit can get fricked.

StroCOTC IVComment
NWA Clash Of The Champions III: Fall Brawl

I actually had a big write up for this, but I accidently clicked "don't save" and lost it all. So here is the abreivated version with the gifs.


Mike Rotunda vs Brad Armstrong NWA TV Championship

Traditional heel champ vs fiery babyface challenger match that went, way, way too long with most of the match centered around chin locks or arm bars. The match went to a time limit draw, meaning IRS retained his title. Fans were very hot for Brad, but this match went on FOREVER and was not interesting at all.


Steve Williams/Nikita Koloff vs The Sheepherders 

Garbage match that completely wasted the boss ass team of Nikita/Dr. Death. Nikita won with the Russian Sickle. Almost 20 fucking minutes of the Bushwhackers. 


Dusty Rhodes vs Kevin Sullivan

Exactly as shitty as you'd expect a Kevin Sullivan in any era vs 8 years past his prime Dusty match to be. All Sullivan did was chokes and chin locks, all Dusty did was punches and elbows. I guess it was no DQ, because Al Perez interfered, and then Dusty pinned GARY HART to win. There was a god damn spike involved and no one even bladed for it.


Ricky Morton vs Ivan Koloff

Russian Chain Match

Your normal shitty chain/rope match. Ricky won in the also normal 3-3 OOPS SOMEONE FELL INTO THE LAST BUCKLE way. The real story is after the match, which saw Paul Jones get in Ivan's face and get decked. Afterwards, the Russian Assassins double teamed Ivan and left him bloody and hanging. No one came to save Ivan, not even his nephew, but this was his face turn.


Sting vs Barry Windham NWA US Championship

This is essentially both at their physical primes, and accordingly, it's pretty dope. The first half of the match is centered around Sting completely outclassing and frustrating Barry with his physical and power advantages. Then Barry does a slam on the floor that leads into the second half of the match, which is mostly him controlling Sting with suplexes or submissions. Ironically, it's Barry missing a Stinger Splash that triggers Sting's fire up.  After that, Barry gets busted open on the post, and Sting spends the rest of the match trying to exacerbate the cut. Eventually, Barry hits Sting with a HEAVILY padded chair after a ref bump, but San Francisco 49er John Ayers (who will be reffing an upcoming NWA Championship match) told Tommy Young what happened. Sting won by DQ.


This Clash had the same issue I have with most of the early Clashes: Matches were way too fucking long. Ain't no one asking for a 20 minute IRS/Brad Armstrong match, nor a 17 minute Bushwhackers match. Barry/Sting was dope, though. Very much enjoyed it, even though it definitely did not need to be a 21 minute match. Everything else can get fucked. I had one of my longer write ups for this before I accidentally didn't save it. Just imagine that it was very witty and humorous. 

This card got changed a few times. Originally, IRS was to defend his title against Brad Armstrong's partner, Tim Horner, who had left the company in August. Dusty/Sullivan was originally Dusty/Dick Murdoch vs Al Perez/Ron Garvin. Garvin also coincidentally left the company in August. It's also the last COTC or major event to officially be under the NWA/JCP banner, as World Championship Wrestling was officially formed on November 2, 1988 after Ted Turner bought out Jim Crockett Promotions. To be extra technical, WCW was actually launched as the Universal Wrestling Corporation on 10/11/88. UWC was still an active Time Warner trademark as of 2014, 13 years after the WWE buy out of WCW, due to the most talents (and therefore lawsuits) being signed to UWC instead of WCW. So really, WCW lasted at last another decade plus after the buy out.

StroCOTC IIIComment
NWA Clash Of The Champions II: Miami Mayhem

TO THE BACK. JR is in the parking lot when TWO limos arrive. The first limo is Jim Crockett's widow, a sitcom star, and a dude. The next one has some NWA promotors. BUT WHO WERE LIMOS?!?!?!


Barry Windham vs Brad Armstrong NWA US Championship

This show is brought to you by HANES UNDERWEAR. When you need a little extra support down there, fellas. Barry wearing his Big Bird yellow gear tonight. Barry tries to keep the pace slowed with plenty of stalling and rest holds. And then back to stalling when Brad gets out of the rest holds. Oh no, Barry misses a fist drop with his claw hand. He could have broken his wrist. Lots of cuts to fans in this. Possibly due to all the headlocks. And now an extended figure four. Barry misses his top rope elbow. Did he ever hit it? BA FIRES UP. Oh shit, top rope cross body is rolled through into the CLAW. Barry wins via pinfall. Title retained. This was not an interesting match to watch.

TO THE CAUDLE. The Rock n Roll Express come to ringside to talk with Bob. Gibson trips over the guardrail. Morton has to be turned around by a stage hand to face the camera. They're back in the NWA.

EARLIER TODAY. On the Blackhawk yacht, the most important contract signing in NWA history will happened: Ric Flair vs Lex Luger for GAB. Jim Crockett Jr. looks like a fish. Flair wearing a red blazer, white pants, black socks, and white shoes. With a yellow tie. The match was signed. 

TO THE BACK. JR waits for Ric Flair's arrival to the arena. A limo arrives. It's Flair, Tully, and Arn. Tully and Arn give some thumbs up to someone. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!

Sheepherders vs The Fantastics NWA US Tag Team Championships

Gross. Before the match we go back...

TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. It's Lex Luger! And the Horsemen bum rush him. This was a mugging, damn it! BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!


You aren't getting me to watch the Bushwackers for 20 fucking minutes. Get the fuck out of here. Fantastics win. Titles retained. Fuck off, Dusty.

TO THE SCHIAVONE. Dr. Death joins Tony at ringside. He's wearing a white tux, with white gloves, and a red bowtie. "Excuse me, a little tongue twisted there." He was on coke the last time, this time he appears to be on quaaludes. 

Jimmy Garvin/Ronnie Garvin vs Mike Rotunda/Rick Steiner

Sullivan is in a shark cage for this.

But before this we go back...

TO THE BACK. JR talks about the attack on Lex. Lex has been taken to the hospital. We're then shown a replay. Of the whole thing. 

Finally, the match starts after intros, a full recap of the Lex situation, and commercial break. I don't particularly like anyone involved in this match. Rick wasn't good without Scott, and I don't want to see Rugged Ronnie unless he's murdering people with top rope knee drops to the throat. I don't care to see IRS sweating or Jimmy Jam in his tighty whities.Sullivan spent the whole match trying to brainwash Precious to unlock the cage. Eventually she got close enough to him that he either took the key or she unlocked it. It looked weird and shitty. Sullivan then attacks her. Dr. Death saves her. Then she gets pissed as Jimmy and storms off. what? The Garvins won at some point. Who gives a fuck? This show has been dire.

Tony and Bob go over all the issues that would set up the Tower of Doom at the GAB. They then show the ancient scroll of the original version, which looks shockingly similar to the Punjabi Prison.

Al Perez vs Nikita Koloff 

Nikita needs to shave his head again. He looks far, far more badass that way. He looks like his time away was spent serving a Wellness Violation. Again, nothing happens. It's up to Arn and Tully to save the show. This show has just been so, so boring. This match ends in DQ when Larry Zbyszko attacks Nikita. Larry, Al, and Gary triple team Nikita and leave him for dead.

Dusty Rhodes/Sting vs Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard NWA World Tag Team Championships

Sting and Arn begin. Sting is ins his gear that was the model for his Galoob figure. Arn clotheslines the ring post, proving that TMFers aren't stronger than steel. Fans love Dusty so much. Him and his belly welly. People bring up Dusty a lot when they talk about Kevin Owens. Those people are dumb. They had COMPLETELY different gimmicks and working styles. Dusty's body played into his gimmick. Owens's body hurts his gimmick. He also doesn't have half the charisma that Dusty had, which really isn't fair since Dusty is about as charismatic of a human as there ever was. Dusty hits a very Dustin-like lariat. And a dropkick! Hot tag to Sting. HE'S STINGING UP! Which is immediately brought to a halt by Arn hot shotting him on the guard rail. Did Arn ever connect with the Vader Bomb? I don't think I've ever seen it, if he did. Tully is SUCH a piece of shit. Just wonderful. He's a better Flair than Flair. Oh no. DDT on the floor! Sting is dead! Well, no he's not. And in fact, he's fighting back about a minute later. Well, to be fair, Arn's DDT wasn't instant death yet. Still...DDT on the floor and coming back a minute later sounds awfully familiar. Hot tag to Dusty. Bionic Elbows for everyone, even JoJo. Sting lets his emotions get the better of him and tosses Teddy Long out of the way to get at Tully. Dumb dumb. Obviously, that's a DQ. Dusty did the same thing. Barry Windham flies out and puts Dusty in the claw. Dusty did a blade job for the claw. THE CLAW. 

 

I wouldn't say Arn and Tully saved the show, but the main event was about 800% more fun than the rest of the show combined. Such a hard fall after the great first edition.

StroCOTC IIComment
NWA Clash of the Champions I 3/27/88

The intro is so rad. Just floating titles getting hit by lightning. It's fucking DOPE.

 

Jimmy Garvin vs Mike Rotunda NWA TV Championship

Well, at least Michael Hayes isn't around. The over-under on IRS being drenched in sweat is 2 minutes. Got those odds straight from Vegas. This amateur rules. Three five-minute rounds, and a one count instead of three. Arm drags for everyone. Is that Shane from The Walking Dead in the front row? IRS is a real piece of shit. Demands these amateur rules, immediately throws fists and pulls hair. Neither of those things are legal. IRS is a god damn CHEATER. Round one ends with IRS in control. IRS throws a cheap shot during the rest period. Piece of shit. Sweaty piece of shit. Captain Mike heads up to the top rope. In an amateur style match. Garvin went for the brainbuster. Kevin Sullivan grabbed Precious. Garven went after him and was caught in a school boy for a 1 count. IRS wins. Title retained. The brainbuster happens afer the match anyway. Rick Steiner runs in and attacks Jimmy. Precious hits him in the back with a 2x4. Then she gets a coat hanger and tries to murder Sullivan. She ain't fucking around. Although, I have my doubts that Rick Steiner even felt that board. He was FUCKING JACKED. Almost Big Poppa Pump jacked.

TO THE CAUDLE. Dr. Death is the guest. He's back from a tour in Japan and talks about Dusty Rhodes and Magnum TA's issues with TBS. He challenges the winner of Sting/Ric Flair and then cuts a clear rambling coke promo that needs to be seen: 

 
 



Midnight Express vs Fantastics NWA US Tag Team Championships

I find it hard to believe there was really a group of dudes in suits who were huge Cornette marks. This immediately turns into a brawl that goes all over ringside. The irony of this match is that the Fantastics were a knock off of the Fabulous Ones, of which Stan Lane was a part of. And Stan Lane wasn't even the original member of the Midnight Express. We got chairs, we got tables, we have polyester suits. Wild and out of control. Things slow down once the Midnights hit the high/low lariat combo. This ref has no control. OUT OF CONTROL. Eaton had a dope powerslam. I'll never not be a Bobby Eaton fan. Tommy Rogers is stuck as FIP. Fans are SO HOT for the Fantastics. The women, at least. More tables and chairs. This is basically an ECW match, but with selling. Eaton hit a bulldog on a table on the floor. Cameras missed most of it, but I think that was intentional as there was a wide angle for some neck based moves in the first match, too. Rogers is basically dead. He makes the tag! The ref missed. SON OF A BITCH! Fulton throws the ref over the top rope. Cornette accidentally hits Eaton with the racket. Fulton decks Corny. Rocket Launcher! Tommy Young runs in and counts the pin. New champions! It is deafening. What a crazy pop. Beatlemania shit up in here. Randy Anderson reverses the decision. Cornette decides to hit both refs. The Midnights whip Fulton with a belt. Titles retained. Crazy brawl. Very fun, even with the Dusty Finish. No doubt a strap match is on the way.

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob talks about The New Leave It To Beaver show. Eddie Haskel did an interview earlier in the day with Cornette. He wants to play tennis with Jim. 

BACK TO THE CAUDLE. Gary Hart and Al Perez challenge Dusty Rhodes. 

TO FRANCES COCKETT. Jim Sr.'s wife announces the seeding for the Jim Crockett Senior Tag Team Cup. All this shit is to cover the ring crew setting up the barbed wire in the ring.

Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes vs Powers of Pain/Ivan Koloff Barbed Wire Match

Animal is wearing a goalie mask due to his face having been injured by the PoP hitting him with a 45 pound plate. Dusty has his street fight gear and face paint on. There isn't even a ref around. I guess this was a match. It didn't even last 4 minutes and nothing happened besides lots of punches. Barb accidentally hit Warlord with the diving headbutt and the faces won. Whatever. The set up to wrap the barbed wired around the ropes (which shouldn't have taken long) took about twice as long as the match itself. 

TO THE CAUDLE. Nikita Koloff is the guest, having returned with a new look of hair and a cream suit. He has a poster that says, "Get High on Sports, Not Drugs". I can't understand anything he's saying. Doing that accent must have been brutal on his throat. 

Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs Lex Luger/Barry Windham NWA World Tag Team Championships

Lex and Tully begin. Arn is wearing these bizarre muted red and yellow striped boots that look like weird socks. Lex almost immediately gets Tully in the torture rack. Arn quickly stomps Lex's leg to break it and the laser focus on it begins. Dad bods on fleek. Oh shit, hot tag to Barry already. An interesting spot of Tully trying to go through the ropes to break a sleeper and Barry just following him out. It's amazing how hyped EVERYONE is. The wrestlers, the crowd, the announcers, the ref. Everyone is so excited at this show. JJ's interference allows Arn to the the DDT AND spinebuster on Barry. And Barry kicked out! It's only been 5 minutes? For real? Feels like a solid 10 minute war. This is like a traditional Southern tag on coke. Probably the same coke Dr. Death snorted before his promo. Barry makes the hot tag to Barry. Fans are so hot. Vibrating the whole building at times. JJ holds up a chair. Arn gets bumped into it. New champions! Fans are going apeshit. "A NEW ERA IN TAG TEAM WRESTLING HAS JUST BEGUN!" 

The judges for the NWA Championship match are introduced. They include a member of the NWA board of directors, a former NWA wrestler, a Penthouse Pet, Eddie Haskell, and Wayne from The Wonder Years. 

Sting vs Ric Flair NWA Championship

JJ isn't given a chance to fuck up this match, as he will spend it suspended above the ring in a cage. Flair's hair is just amazing. A feathered, frizzy, bleach blond mullet. Sting's waist is great. You know that dude was 250 pounds with a 31 inch waist. Just fantastic shape he was in. Sting ain't playing that chop shit tonight. Flair bails once Sting starts gaining momentum. At this point, Flair was only a 5 time champion. Sting's athleticism is so effortless. Just flying around the ring, leapfrogs that seem to go over the top rope, dropkicks, head scissors. All WIT DA GREATEST OF EASE. As a match, this is definitely the "let's take it easy, we have all night" kind of style. Lots of headlocks. A fast spot or two followed by immediately pumping the brakes. "I'm sure she's used to seeing some, some action." JR basically called the Penthouse Pet a whore. Some of Flair's chops have managed to slice Sting's chest open. Flair nearly gets pinned by a bear hug. "AH GOD I'm gonna ki..AH MY BACK." Sting misses a Stinger Splash and hurts his arm. The story of this match is Sting can dominate Flair, but he's still young and makes those rookie mistakes. Sting has the speed, strength, enthusiasm, and resilience advantage, but Flair's experience saves him. Tony has twice tonight pronounced writhing as, "Wreathing". Now, to the best of my knowledge, wreathes are illegal in matches until it is a Christmas gimmick match. Sting misses a Stinger Splash against the ring post. JR makes some valid points on why that was a dumb move: If you hit it, you can't pin the man on the floor, if you miss it, you're fucked. But here's the thing, even with his huge experience advantage, Flair can never keep Sting down for long. 25 minutes in, Sting gets the Scorpion Death Lock briefly applied. Rope break. Figure four! Sting is in the hold for an extended amount of time, but is able to eventually get out. Sting then uses the hold himself. Five minutes left. Sting gets FIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDDDD UP with one minute left. Death Lock? Can Flair hold on for 30 seconds? He can. Time has expired. this will go to the judges. And they decided on...a draw. Terrible scoring here. Sting controled the majority of the match. If you were scoring on points, no way does Flair win. Title retained.

Good ass show. Those crowds in JCP/WCW in 1987-1990 or so is so awesome. They're so into everything. Both tag matches were a lot of fun. Main event was good. Kind of the quintessential Flair/Sting match, although I think it would have been better with a 30 minute time limit instead of 45. 

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