WWF Backlash 2000
Triple HHH became the first heel to make it out of the main event of WM with the title. Which was already his, but whatever. Vince and Shane joined with HHH and Steph to form the super heel group that definitely isn't The Corporation.
Debra is introduced as guest ring announcer for the opening contest. To almost no reaction. This was her return after months away. Oh shit, Rock's mom is in the front row.
X-Pac/Road Dogg vs Edge & Christian WWF Tag Team Championships
THE KING OF ROCK WHO THE KING OF ROCK WHAT? Best version of the DX theme. Debra is a terrible announcer. Christ. Edge and Kid begin. X-Pac tells Edge to suck it, and Edge seems into it. A spin kick sends X-Pac all the way out to the announce table. X-Pac spits at Edge. Fuck. Imagine the diseases you could get from X-Pac saliva. Shit doctors don't even know about. Like hepatitis 7 or something. The tides turn for DX when Christian gets tagged in. He's the loser of the team already. This is a really hot crowd. Haven't heard a crowd that hot for standard Southern tag formula stuff in years. "X-Pac riding bareback there on Christian in the corner." Road Dogg hits a super stiff kick to the back. Uncharactaristically stiff from him. Tori got knocked off the apron. Christian used the distraction to hit X-Pac with the ring bell. Titles retained. Fun opener.
TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. It's THE ROCk! BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!
Scotty Too Hotty vs Dean Malenko WWF Light Heavyweight Championship
X-Pac got busted open from the ring bell and his diseases are now stained into the mat. I wonder what kind of WWF career Dean would have had if he had joined in like...1996. Probably not that much different, since he was SO short and wouldn't have had the talent to work with he had in WCW. TMF gets sick of all the dancing shit and tries to destroy Scotty's leg so he can't dance again. Just tears that thing apart. Scotty finally gets some room to breathe and is immediately caught in a superplex. The WORM! I like that Dean no sold it and immediately went for a roll up. Tiger driver! TMF goes up top. Scotty catches him and attempts a superplex. Dean counters with an avalanche DDT OUTTA NOWHERE! Title retained. Fun match.
TO THE BACK. Vince, Shane, HHH, and Steph are having a meeting. Patterson and Brisco have rejoined the group. ALL HANDS ON DECK!
Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs Acolytes
Too long, sadly not very slobberknockery. Just boring. Well, they can't all be winners. Boss Man hit JBL in the face with his night stick and Bull hit a top rope ax kick for the win.
TO THE BACK. The Hardys discuss what they'll do to each other to win the Hardcore Championship. Elsewhere, the Holly Cousins have a similar discussion.
Crash Holly vs Hardcore Holly vs Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy vs Tazz vs Perry Saturn
The 24/7 rule is not in effect tonight. Someone must pin Crash to win the title. LOL that Taz is the same size as Crash. And not nearly as in shape. And people still try to pretend like his push got ruined by the Radicalz jumping. He's the same size as CRASH HOLLY, but fat. He's lucky to even have a job in WWE. Crash tries to run away by climbing the giant hooks at the entrance. Matt follows. And then Matt dives off of it. From that point on, it's just dudes hitting each other with random knick knacks. TABASCO! The Hardys bring a ladder into the ring. Jeff did a swanton from the very top of it. JR has compared him to HBK at least twice now. Tazzmission! Saturn kills that with a STOP sign. Crash rolls over and pins Tazz while the Hardys were busy diving to the floor. Title retained.
TO THE COACH. Coach speaks with Shane about being the ref in the main event...with his father in the corner of his brother in law.
Kurt Angle vs Big Show
Man. Big Show was in the MAIN EVENT of WM a month ago. Now he's doing a comedy parody gimmick that Stevie Richards and Damien Sandow got stuck with. What a fall from grace. My god. It's HULK HOGAN! Oh. It's the Showster, brother. Those yellow tights reveal that the Big Show isn't very...big. Show STARTS the match by Hulking Up. Big boot! Leg drop! 12HEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T! Kurt goes after the leg. Then HOGAN chants start up. Lol. More people at this show were chanting for Hogan than they did at the last 4 months of WCW combined at this point. Also, WWE drew almost double to a B PPV in the same building that WCW ran their biggest show of the year in 4 months prior. Show wins quickly and fairly easily with a chokeslam.
TO THE COLE. Big Mike speaks with Trish and T&A about the Dudleys. She said some shit about Bubber, who was watching on a monitor and being super weird. D-Von is sick of that shit.
Dudley Boys vs T&A
The Smashing Pumpkins are in the front row. D-Von and Albert officially being the match after all 4 men brawl in the ring for a bit. Bubba's obsession with putting women through tables was a weird angle. Especially with the whole, "He totally cums when he does this" part of it. Kind of weird that Test went from appearing to get a super push to the main event and feud with the McMahons/HHH to being bussed down to a mid card tag team with the perpetually not over Albert. D-Von works FIP for way too long. The Dudleys never really worked as faces. This is worked as a pretty standard Southern tag. T&A are a pretty solid HOSS team, but get no reactions without Trish. Speaking of Trish, it must be weird as fuck to be standing out there and having 17,000 people staring at your ass instead of watching the match. And then doing that for 6 years. Trish on the apron distracted Bubber from hitting the 3D. Test hit him with a big boot for the win. After the match, Albert was hit with 3D, Test with the Kanyon Cutter (BANG!), and Trish got put through a table. To a disturbingly huge pop, with Bubba leaving the ring screaming, "I GOT YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH" over and over. Trish was stretchered out. Almost the entire ref squad is out there to help. I wonder why. Chioda totally stares at Trish's crotch area multiple times while wheeling her to the back.
TO THE BACK. As Trish was taken to the ambulance, Eddie and Chyna pulled in. Eddie is told his match is up next and he better hurry up.
Eddie Guerrero vs Essa Rios WWF European Championship
Eddie pulls right into the arena. They just got back from Eddie's prom, so Eddie is going to wrestle this match in a tux. This is all over Eddie and Essa being paired up and Lita costing them a few matches. I don't think there is really much of an issue between the two men, but Chyna really hates Lita. She even gave Lita to the Dudleys. The match itself is kind of an awkward luchaish match that the production team has no idea how to shoot. Chyna got involved multiple times. Eddie won with a whirlybird neckbreaker. Lita attacks and strips Chyna.
TO THE COACH. Coach gets some words with Steph and HHH.
TO THE COLE. Words with IC Champ Chris Benoit, who appears to be in the boiler room for some reason.
Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit WWF Intercontinental Championship
This starts with a collar and elbow tie up that goes to the floor. Then they do a roll up sequence and start a chop battle. Then the Rolling Reich right away. And then Benoit misses a suicide dive. Just splatting. The steps get dropkicked into Jericho's legs/balls/stomach. So the focus from that point on is on Jericho's torso. This crowd has definitely mellowed out a lot since the start of the show. I guess that's understandable, since everything after the 2nd match has been kind of bland. And this match is very WCW/NJPW style, which the WWF audience was still being trained on. Ref bump! Benoit hits Jericho in the face with the title. 2 count! Benoit attempts the Iron Eagle. Jericho used the title belt to block it. Tim White saw it and called for the DQ. Title retained. Jericho attacked Tim White after the match.
TO THE COLE. Is Rock concerned that Steve Austin has yet to arrive? Rock doesn't give a fuck.
The Rock vs Triple H WWF Championship Special Guest Referee: Shane McMahon
Before the match, Vince informs fans of the "card subject to change" clause to announce that Austin would not be at the show tonight.
Typical brawling start. Fans want Austin. HHH slows shit down with rest holes while JR bitches about internet rumors. Vince blasts Rock in the face with the title. Crowd starts chanting what sounds like a mixture of AUSTIN and BORING. Shane refuses to count Rock's pin. Rock punches him over the top rope. As things head to the SAT, Rock does a Rock Bottom to HHH AND Shane. At the same time. Through the table. Since Shane is dead, Vince calls for a new ref to count the pin after a pedigree. It's the STOOGES! Rock kicked out! STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD arrives to one of the biggest pops of all time and destroys everyone with a chair. And a noticeable gut. But holy shit, that reaction is insane. Linda McMahon and Earl Hebner stroll down to ringside. Linda shoves Stephanie down. Spinebuster. People's Elbow. The Rock wins! NEW CHAMPION! Holy fuck. This is the loudest shit I've ever heard. Insanity. Austin returns, towing the destroyed DX Express to ringside. He and Rock toast to the WWF Championship.
Certainly, the in ring stuff has improved a lot. Weird how all it took was the best of WCW's midcard jumping ship.