WCW Monday Nitro 6/2/97
Scott Hall and Syxx start the show already in the ring. They're out there because people have been writing saying the nWo doesn't have enough TV time. Lol. Syxx shits HARD on Flair. They call Flair out, but JJ Dillon comes out instead. Flair is on his way to Dayton, and he'll be in a match against Scott Hall TONIGHT! We're all in agreement that Scott Hall is the coolest guy to ever be in pro wrestling, right?
Alex Wright vs Glacier
This is the first time Glacier has been around since Mortis and Wrath tried to break his leg and rip his eye out. Alex attacks before the bell and is very aggressive. And dancy. I think he has half a chubby. A short match that Glacier won after a Cryonic Kick OUTTA NOWHERE. The Sinister Minister comes out after the match with Glacier's sacred helmet. This was a distraction to allow Mortis and Wrath to attack. Alex Wright wanted to join in on the beating. Glacier moves and Alex Wright gets blasted with a superkick from Mortis. Glacier fights both dudes off.
Joe Gomez vs Buff Bagwell
I can not for the life of me figure out how Joe Gomez got hired. With all the talent WCW had access to, Joe Gomez was a guy they paid a bunch of money and gave a weirdly large amount of TV time to. He would have been a shitty wrestler even in 1993 WCW. Buff easily wins with the Blockbuster.
Hugh Morrus vs TAFKATAFKAPI
Konnan attacked Hugh with a broom during his entrance. I was hoping that would mean the match wouldn't happen, but WCW hates me and wants me to suffer. Hugh has a concussion, which is a pretty nifty way to excuse his shitty wrestling, to be honest. I don't know what Prince's excuse is. An impact player will debut on the 6/30 Nitro in Las Vegas. Even Tenay doesn't have the scoop! This is bad. Prince can't even do a basic baseball slide through Hugh's legs and gets blasted with a knee to the chest. And as it turns out, the finish was Prince sliding under Hugh and pinning him with a school boy, so he fucked up probably the easiest finish possible in wrestling. He also fucked up the recovery spot right after. This match was like...a minute and had 3-4 botches.
TO THE MEAN GENE. JoJo is back to talk with Gene. The Championship Committee has come to the decision that the Steiner Brothers will be the number one contenders to the Outsiders and will be the next team to get a title shot provided they win tonight. This brings Sister Sherri and Harlem Heat out. JoJo didn't seem to give a shit that they were mad.
A hype video for DDP airs. It is basically just him saying the same shit about "I wasn't supposed to make it, they didn't know how hard I'd work" etc etc. WCW's videos of this kind were so far behind the WWF's. Savage and DDP will have a rematch at the Great American Bash.
Steiner Brothers vs Masahiro Chono/Great Muta
Oh shit. Temper your expectations. This is Muta, not Mutoh, and will probably be 7 minutes with a non-finish. Scott and Muta begin. So...if Muta/Chono win, are they the number one contenders? Muta is such a weirdo. The only guy in the modern age as weird as him is Nakamura. Wait. What if this whole time Muta was just a coke head like Nakamura? I'll have to do more research on this startling development. If you were hoping for a high impact, NJ style tag, you're in the wrong place. This is a Southern tag, with Muta and Chono being 80s stoogy heels. This is something you'd see in Memphis in 1982, perhaps. Scott does hit a crazy ass belly to belly on Chono, and Chono responds by kicking his face off. Harlem Heat ran out and blasted Rick with a chair, and he was pinned while in a leg lock. Muta/Chono better get a match against the Outsiders, god damn it. They are the rightful number one contenders. Don't you fuck them, JoJo. Post match, JoJo, Gene, and Harlem Heat got to gabbin'. JoJo said the match is up for review, and Harlem Heat are still no the number one contenders. But neither are Muta/Chono. Does it seem questionable that JJ refuses to make minorities the number one contenders?
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Ric is going to stomp a mudhole in Scott Hall's toothpick chewin', WHITE HONKY ASS. Lol, why the fuck is Ric Flair calling someone a honky?
Michael Wallstreet vs Dean Malenko WCW US Championship
I wonder why WCW bothered with keeping the Wallstreet name for IRS. Everyone else in the nWo (well, mostly) were using their real names, and IRS competed as Mike Rotunda/o for years anyway. Having him keep the gimmicky name seems weird in retrospect. Still, I don't want to see this sweaty fuck. Jeff Jarrett tried to cost Dean the match, which seems weird. Unless this wasn't a title match. Nick Patrick clearly was biased towards Dean, standing between IRS and the ropes so IRS couldn't reach the ropes when in the cloverleaf. It was a title match after all, so Jeff tried to cost Dean the title when he'd have a title match against Dean...the fuck?
TO THE MENA GENE. Double J calls Dean an uncharismatic block of ice and demands a rematch next week on Nitro. Dean agrees to the match. Of course, MONGO interrupts the promo and actually just takes it over to talk about Kevin Greene. Jeff just leaves, lol.
Ciclope/Damien vs Harlem Heat
LOL that the Steiners have to face Muta/Chono to be number one conteders, while HH get two low-tier cruiserweights. As you'd imagine, the Steiners cost Harlem Heat the match. So, really, we should be getting Muta/Chono vs Ciclope/Damien next week to determine the number one contenders to the tag titles.
Barbarian vs Chris Benoit
Big boots and super belly to bellies, please. All I'm asking for. Benoit immediately beats Barbarian down in the corner. Stomped a mudhole in his big ass. Barb only gets offense due to Jimmy Hart's distraction, and then Benoit is MURDERED with a suplex on the ropes that saw him hit knees first and then get folded up on the mat. Holy shit that looked violent. YES, the super belly to belly returns. Barb tries it again, but Benoit fights it off and hits the diving headbutt. He then locks on the Iron Crossface for the win. These two are probably my favorite "give these guys 5 minutes for no reason" Nitro pairing. After the match, Benoit calls out Sullivan, who is on "sabatical" from pro wrestling. Beating Barbarian was not enough to get another match with Sullivan. Benoit will have to have a deathmatch with Meng at the GAB. Next week, Benoit will learn what the third step will be.
Scott Hall vs Ric Flair
Whatever their team name would have been in 1992 EXPLODES. Flair is off to an immediate dominating start, knocking the shit out of Hall and Syxx. I'm talking shit like...doing the Flair Flip and immediately doing a Thesz press off the apron onto Syxx. Ric is on one tonight. He was too focused on Kid and gets blasted for it. Fans are fully behind Flair, which is weird, because how can you cheer Ric Flair over Scott Hall? These two should really drop the fall away slam together, because it looks AWFUL every time. Ric completely sandbags and then ends up looking like he dislocates his shoulder on the landing. How hard is it to take a normal bump, Ric? Lol, Ric basically does a spinning back fist to Hall trying to chop him. Of course, this ends in a DQ. Mongo and Double J eventually show up to run Hall and Syxx off, but pretty fucking late into the beat down.
Randy Savage drags Gene out to the ring to force him into an interview. Gene gets way too mouthy and almost gets his ass kicked. JoJo returns (sick of him already fuck) to say he doesn't want to see Macho put his hands on an announcer ever again. Or what? More or less, JJ calls Macho an unprofessional bitch and says he's lost respect for him. After questioning his manhood, JoJo gets blasted by Macho. Bischoff runs out to pull Randy off. Doug Dillinger also got hit. Savage breaks free of Security to attack JJ some more. After trying to stop Savage...Bischoff then cuts a heel promo on JJ to end the show.
Pretty enjoyable over all. Really enjoying the Flair vs Syxx/Wolfpac feud, Macho is unhinged as can be, Benoit/Barb knocked the shit out of each other, Muta/Chono OUTTA NOWHERE.