WCW Halloween Havoc 1994
Very sad to report there was no mini-movie opening this year.
Some country music "superstar" sings the national anthem while wearing a shirt that Jerry Lawler would be embarrassed to wear.
Honky Tonk Man vs Johnny B. Badd WCW TV Championship
Oh my, Honky's music is hilariously awful. It's a JHV of a Jimmy Hart song. It's basically the same song, except it says "Honky Tonk Baby" instead of "Honky Tonk Man". And sounds even cheaper than the WWF version. Little Richard vs Elvis. Johnny won the title a month prior at Fall Brawl and this is his first defense. The TV champion goes a whole month not defending the title on TV? The whole point of the TV Championship was to have the champion defend the title more frequently on television. Honky immediately begs off in the corner. Johnny marks for himself. Of all the the old WWF guys to bring in, Honky seems like the weirdest choice from this period. He hadn't even been around for 3 or 4 years. OH MY, Johnny tussled Honky's hair! We cut to a shot of Sting talking to Mike Tenay for the WCW Hotline. Fuck the match. We'll just stare at Sting and Tenay talking while the hotline gets shilled. HTM goes on the offense with nothing but cheap shots. Johnny sells them by dancing. What a shame to go from Regal/Steamboat matches for months to Johnny B. Badd/HTM. What a downgrade for the title and fans of wrestling everywhere. Thanks a lot, Hulk. Who knew that HTM was even one of Hulk's boys? Muhammad Ali is at ringside and seems amused at how stupid both guys look. Somehow we've gone through 5 minutes and nothing has happened. All HTM can/is willing to do are punches and chin locks. They head to the floor, right in front of Ali. Man, I wish Ali would have SHOOT punched HTM in the face. I bet even in 1994, he still had a few good punches left. 2 minutes left and HTM is content to stay in the chin lock. 60 seconds left. Johnny fires up, which consists of him spinning around a lot. He misses the Kiss That Don't Miss. HTM counters with a back suplex and with 15 seconds left...he goes for a choke. Not a pin or anything. Time limit expires. It is a draw, but Johnny retains his title. NOTHING happened in this match. Honky was fired shortly after because he was pissed he didn't get to win the title right away.
TO THE CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS. We're shown footage of the Clash where Hogan was attacked by a masked man during his entrance. The mask man smashed Hogan's knee with a pipe. But Hulk Hogan returned to have the match with Flair later in the night to have the match with Flair. Flair won via count out, but Hulk was attacked again after the match. 2 months later on a live edition of The Main Event, we found out there were actually TWO masked men! Amateur video footage showed Ric Flair and Mr. T leaving Michael Jordan's restaurant together. The plot thickens!
Pretty Wonderful vs Stars and Stripes WCW Tag Team Championships
This was the best match at Fall Brawl, mostly because of Orndorff's fucking TREMENDOUS elbow drop and Roma acting like he was on meth the whole match. Orndorff and Patriot begin. Wonderful looks like he'd be the biggest asshole ever. Things quickly break down with all four men in the ring. Brain claims the Patriot is Al Gore. I always thought Orndorff sucked as a kid, but he is pretty dope. So intense. I also like Paul Roma. He wasn't great or anything, but he was good at being a cocky dickhead. He runs up the ropes, turns around, and then hits a diving punch on Buff. Buff had a weird few years. He debuted and was heavily pushed as a singles guy, but then they realized he needed to be in a tag team. So he teams with Scorpio for a while, and when Scorp leaves, he briefly teams with ERIK WATTS in a massive downgrade, and then gets put in a patriotic team with the Patriot. Roma didn't have his meth for this show. Fans don't seem very interested in this. At Fall Brawl, the crowd was solidly on the heel side of things the whole night, but this crowd is bored and kind of lifeless. Fucking LOL at Brain saying Hogan and Flair will never wrestle each other again after tonight. Shaky shaky elbow! Not as crazy as the Fall Brawl one, but it got the crowd to react. So ridiculous. I love it. Roma gets crazy air for a dropkick, but mostly misses it. He actually jumped OVER Buff. There doesn't seem to be much of a story that I can see. I guess maybe that Buff is getting worked over, but it isn't like they're working a limb or anything. Things again break down with all four men in the ring. Get some fucking control, Pee Wee. It's been like 45 seconds. How many times are you going to count to 5? Buff hits a Perfect Plex. Roma breaks it with a giant elbow drop from the top. New champions!
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Gene is with Flair and Sherri in the locker room. Gene straight up stares at Sherri's tits. And then looks right at the camera. Fuck, he did it two more times. All while Flair is talking about his already planned celebration for the night.
Bobby and Tony talk about the promo. Bobby nearly says son of a bitch.
Dave Sullivan vs Kevin Sullivan
Dave Sullivan...just fuck. His gimmick for those that are lucky enough to not remember, was that he was the biggest Hulkamaniac ever and was possibly "touched". Hulk gave him the boots that he wore when he beat Andre and a bathrobe, so Dave started to wrestle like Hogan. He was fucking terrible. And eventually, it would be revealed that he was dyslexic, so he started going by Evad. All this even though he had been in WCW for over a year as the Equalizer. And after this bullshit, he would have a feud with the Boss Man where Boss Man was allergic to Dave's pet rabbit and would wear a surgical mask, but Dave would remove it and win. This is garbage and the real Hulkamaniacs were not enthused with this shit head. Of course Hogan would make sure he had a guy doing a tribute gimmick to him. Dave would win via count out.
Arn Anderson vs Dustin Rhodes
Dustin called upon Arn to help him in his feud with the Studd Stable, apparently forgetting all about Arn's feuds with Dustin and his father. So naturally, Arn SWERVED Dustin, which lead to Dusty returning to the ring for WAR GAMES, daddy. Thomas Hearns was also in the front row this night. At Bash at the Beach, Hogan's wife, family, co stars, and other Turner execs filled the front row. I wonder how much money they lost comping half of the most expensive seats in the venue. They do some chain wrestling until Dustin fires up and hits a lariato to the back of the neck. He goes up top and is crotched. Dustin shoves off a superplex and hits a diving lariatooo. Dustin goes for the Flip Flop and Fly only to get punched right in the fucking eye. Arn blocks the face getting the boot up spot. He's sent to the floor shortly after and punches the ring post, then gets thrown shoulder first into it. Dustin continues the arm work in the ring. Dustin misses a lariatoo and goes flying all the way over the ring steps. Arn works the body back in the ring. Dustin tries a body scissors. Arn walks over to the ropes and does the decapitator. Loud SHIIIIIIIT from Dustin. Double lariato. Mafia kick! Lariatooo. Dustin blocks the DDT. Elbow drop gets a near fall. Stun Gun. Dustin drops his knee pad and tries to break Arn's arm, but Arn moves. Arn tries a roll up while holding the ropes. The ref sees it and breaks it up. Dustin then quickly rolls Arn up for the win. After the match, he's hit with the DDT.
TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE. Gene is in the back with Hogan, Jimmy Hart, and Brother Bruti himself. Hogan brings up slamming Andre (GOD BLESS HIS SOUL, BROTHER). Gene brings up how suspicious Mr. T has been lately. Mr. T is on the up and up, brother. Hulk accidentally says that Flair is going to suck Mr. T in the cage.
Jim Duggan vs Steve Austin WCW US Championship
At Fall Brawl, Ricky Steamboat vacated the title due to what would end up being a career ending injury. Jim Duggan was then brought in as a replacement and won the title in about 30 seconds, although Bockwinkel was still in the ring for about 20 of them, so the match was more like 8 seconds. Duggan won with the Old Glory back drop. Austin attacks before the bell. He quickly runs into some lariatos and a slam. It's amazing how quickly Austin's stock fell once Hogan came in. He was being groomed to be a top heel in the next year or so, but once Hogan came in, he was jobbing to Duggan in seconds and would become a full on jobber after this. His 3 year steady push died immediately for Hogan's boys. Austin does leg work. Duggan does ass work. Hacksaw doesn't fall for a handshake. Austin is trying his best, but there isn't a lot you can do with Duggan. Trick knee low blow! It's easy to see why Austin ended up with terrible knees. Guy was doing tons of moves from the top and second rope landing on his knees with those tiny knee pads. Austin gets disqualified when he backdrops Duggan over the top rope. Title retained. What's really sad is that at Fall Brawl, Austin cut a very Stone Cold like promo on Nick Bockwinkel, but now his WCW career is basically over. In fact, I'm pretty sure this was his last WCW PPV.
TO THE MEAN GENE. After an extended shilling of the hotline, Gene brings out Sting. Sting is in a tux and is going to sit next to Ali for the rest of the show.
The Guardian Angel vs Vader
These guys had a really fun fat guys throwing bombs match at BATB, but then a really boring version of that match at Fall Brawl. Boss Man comes out with an army of Guardian Angels. Vader gets in Sting's face and pays homage to Ali. Ali agrees that Vader is indeed the man. Harley gets beaten up for no reason at the start of the match. Vader's reaction was so weird. Instead of being pissed, it was more like "Come on, man, this guy is too old for that kind of shit". Boss Man backs Vader into the corner and slaps him. Obviously this doesn't work out for Boss Man as seconds later he's caught in the Vader Rush. Series of short arm lariatios. A punch sends Boss Man over the top. Vader gets sent into the guard rail. Harley gets beaten up AGAIN. He wasn't even doing anything. "The Guardian Angel has broken bad". YEAH BITCH! Vader is slammed on top of Harley. Well that was rude. Vertical suplex to Vader! Vader fires back with a series of stiff jabs and a lariato. Just punching a dude in the face for real in the middle of a wrestling match. He goes for a second rope Vader Attack only to be caught in a powerslam. Boss Man follows up with a diving headbutt. 1994 was definitely the beginning of the end for Vader. His weight started ballooning and his cardio suffered greatly for it. They have a mid ring collision where both guys kind of sort of tried lariats and both went down and looked hurt. Vader Bomb. He takes a few moments to gloat, which allows Boss Man to kick out. Boss Man gets his knees up on the second attempt. Standing spinebuster! Boss Man Slam! Harley gets up on the apron. Boss Man clearly says "Bullshit" and chases Harley around. He suplexes Harley and Vader immediately his a splash after the bump for the win. I believe this was a number one contender match as well. Which is kind of weird because at Fall Brawl, these two and Sting had a triangle match with the winner being the next number one contender. And Vader won that.
TO THE MEAN GENE. More hotline shilling. Gene's guest is boxing legend Thomas Hearns. I hate hearing boxers talk. He looks pretty young still, but his voice sounds like a mush mouthed old man. He was only 36. All he was there for was to agree with Hogan/Flair being similar to Hearns/Sugar Ray.
We're shown footage of the Nasty Boys being beaten down after War Games. Meng in particular was knocking the SHIT out of Knobs. So lovely.
Nasty Boys vs Terry Funk/Bunkhouse Buck
Sags has a pumpkin. Knobs has Beavis and Butthead masks. Knobs wipes his ass with Funk's chaps. That's probably the first time he's ever wiped his ass. Such an unhygienic FAT ASS. HE'S FAT. Funk and Knobs officially start. Sags tags in and straight up tea bags Terry. Terry then goes to Pity City, which he does not appreciate one bit. "You son of a bitch! DAMN YOU!" Tags are made. Beat downs in the corner. Terry gets a chair and starts hitting himself in the head with it. He then hops the guard rail to star down some fans. To the floor it goes. Buck suddenly has a noose and is trying to kill Sags. The ref sees Buck putting an international object on his hand. As he's distracted, Meng tries to hit Knobs, but hits Funk on accident. Sags then gives Funk a piledriver on the pumpkin. Nasty Boys win.
TO THE MEAN GENE. In the ring, Gene has WCW President Bill Shaw, senior VP Eric Bischoff, and Muhammad Ali. Turner Broadcasting presents a check to Ali's Future Foundation. Although he doesn't say how much the check is worth. Bischoff presents Ali a plaque. I don't want to gif barely mobile Ali, so I won't.
Hulk Hogan vs Ric Flair WCW Championship Steel Cage Retirement Match Special Guest Referee: Mr. T
Something sounded off about Hogan's pop. Sounded like Smackdown. Hogan is the king of HULKMANIA. God damn it, Buffer. HULKAMANIA. It had only been around for a decade. T's mohawk being slicked back is weird looking. Whole lot of pyro for the cage. I always thought it was interesting how WCW mentioned WWF history all the time when the WWF pretended like they didn't even know about Flair's previous championship history in 1991. Hulk starts like like a typical baby face: Eye raking and choking with a shirt. And then shoves his bandana down Flair's mouth. Then stands on Flair's throat. American Made! Mr. T doesn't like that shit. Flair opens up with his own cheap shots, which makes sense being that he's the heel. He is the first one to taste the steel. Flair goes after the bad knee. Hogan goes into the cage. Knee drop. Tony talks about Flair holding up the four fingers as he came to the ring. When Hogan came to the ring, Brain held up one finger. Battering ram from Hogan. And back to choking with a shirt. T breaks it. There are two things Mr. T loves: The rules and his mama. The camera man totally hits Sherri in the back of the head with the camera. I swear Hogan is doing more heel shit than Flair in this. They climb up the cage and Hulk chokes Flair on the top of the cage. And then does more back rakes, eye rakes, SPITS on Flair, and then bites him. Hogan's selling of the knee is very haphazard. At some points he can barely walk. At other points, he forgets to sell it at all for a few minutes. Flair goes back to the knee and gets into it with T. But wait, Hulk said his knee was actually fine back at Fall Brawl. Figure four! Too bad it is on the wrong leg. The straight leg is the one that is taking damage in that hold, but the bad knee is the bent on in the hold. Ref bump! Flair tries to pin Hogan. Hogan's kick out throws Flair on top of T. Flair then stomps T a few times for fun. Sherri climbs the cage. Jimmy Hart follows and rips her skirt off. She shoves him into a camera man and climbs back up. STING hops the railing and prevents her from making it. BUT THEN the masked man comes out from under the ring and attacks! Sherri jumps off the cage and hits Hogan. He no sells it, but is clipped by Flair. Mr. T is handcuffed to the middle rope. The masked man holds the steel pipe next to the cage and Hogan is thrown into it. Flair makes a cover but apparently didn't think ahead on how HANDCUFFING THE REF TO THE ROPES would have a negative outcome on his pin attempts. Hulk of course HULKS UP and knocks the shit out of Sherri again. He slammed her, clotheslined her twice, and press slammed her. And then he gave her the big boot. WHAT THE FUCK, HULK. This was after she was trying to exit the cage. He dragged her back in to hit her more. Big boot. Leg drop. T makes the count. Title retained. Flair is retired FOREVER. Muhammad Ali presents Hogan the title, even though Hulk actually grabbed it before it was fully out of Nick Bockwinkel's hand.
The masked man returns after the match, but Hogan avoided an attack. The man is unmasked to reveal....BROTHER BRUTI?!?!?!?!? SWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD JEEEEEEEEEEEEZUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! Kevin Sullivan hits the ring. "The building is starting to rumble, like an Avalanche." MY GOD IT IS THE BIG MAN (Earthquake)! The Aftershock Splash! Sting comes back down to save Hogan. LOL at Sting telling Hulk to "shake it off" as he's doing the death selling of the splash.
Jeeeeeeeeezus, this was like the prototype for every WCW main event for the next 5 years. A cage match with a ref bump, 4 run ins, a post match SWERVE, and 4 more run ins. Brain wasn't at all subtle in making sure everyone knew that Beefcake was now a BUTCHER *of friendships* and Tony was equally as unsubtle about making sure we all knew that Earthquake was like an AVALANCHE.